Carson

I have realized that I have not taken very many pictures of Carson, so I have been making an effort to do so. He has been very fussy lately and crying a lot and I have been stressed to the max. We are going to try and switch his formula to an easier to digest one and lets hope this helps! For now, here are some of the recent pictures I have taken!

Yes, I let Paige push Carson in her play stroller!

Before church

Me and Carson

What a stud!

Aquarium of the pacific

We finally went and visited the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach. It was pretty fun and Paige loved all the fish!

Starring into the deep blue abyss...

Her favorite pink fish!

The tunnel was pretty cool. Paige and I loved the sea turtle.

She LOVED the starfish and went crazy touching them and feeling the coral around them

The Spider Lobster...this thing is freakish!

She did not dare touch the huge sting ray, or any of them for that matter...

...Or the sharks

This is what happens....

...when you have a big sister

Overcoming

Ok just fyi; I am doing much better! It is a battle of emotions everyday with loosing something I cherished, however it makes me a much happier mom. I don't get anxiety attacks anymore before I have to feed him, I don't hurt, and its actually pretty easy to bottle feed! I am so thankful that Chad is around to help me out. He has been amazing and supportive.

We went and got Paige and Carson's pictures taken today and they are so cute. I don't get them until the 4th though. They are just adorable! I love my two kids and they really do make me happy even though I struggle daily with the routine! It will come. For now I will just try and take it easy and love them!

a hard choice

As most of you know, I have had a lot of problems with nursing since Carson was born. I have always been a huge advocate of nursing...many research papers done on it too. I have made the decision to stop nursing. This has been one of the hardest choices I have made. I was getting bad anxiety every time he was hungry because I knew the pain was coming. Plus he has issues eating too. Altogether, I just decided that I could not take anymore and although it could get better soon, I just cannot bear to keep going.

With all of that said, (and many prayers) I feel good about my choice. It is very hard though dealing with it. There are pro's and con's to both sides. Now is the fun process of weaning my body. I hope it goes as well as it can. If anyone has any tips, let me know! For now, wish me luck and pray for me!

Easter, Birthday, and everything in between!

This is one very long picture post...enjoy!

Easter!!!

Showing off their goodies!

Easter treats and naps!

A visit with the Easter Bunny. Chad snuck this picture in. Does anyone else find it LAME that you have to buy pictures now and they don't let you take them yourself?

First walk together. Paige is obsessed with this stroller.

Happy Birthday Chad!!!

First (home) Bath. He did not enjoy it so much, but did better than Paige did the first time.

Hanging out at In n Out before Aunt Ashly had to leave. :(

The good, the bad, the ugly

This is just a post for those of you who know what it is like to have another baby. Or maybe it was super easy for you.

Things I love about having 2 kids:

- I love to see how much Paige loves "her baby."

- They are both amazing and so good looking!

- They make my heart happy

- I feel more complete as a family - weird I know

- I love them!

Things that are very different and perhaps hard:

- I have no idea how to balance two

- I feel guilty all the time for not being able to meet all of their needs

- I did not anticipate getting the flu, mastitis, and other things that are not fun while recovering

- How do you people go out with two? I tried...with Chad too...woah its rough!

- EMOTIONS or HORMONES...yeah they are not fun and I thought I would not have them as badly as I did with Paige...I do, they are just a little different.

So I think I would be doing better if I did not have a lot of problems that have happened since having him. The flu has been the worst part. I have made Chad come home to take care of everyone. He has been my life saver for sure. I have felt that I cannot provide for my children like I took care of just Paige. I do know though that it will only get better and I will get through it like I did when I had Paige. It is quite an adjustment for me and if anyone has tips on going out, I could use them. I am not one who likes to just stay home. I have to get out to keep my sanity, but that is hard to keep when going out is too hard! Oh boy!