Wednesday, May 26, 2010
My mind state
I might be going crazy, or perhaps my almost 3 year old is going crazy. I need some help here. I have adjusted to having 2 kids, but not to having a snotty little toddler. The things she says and does just blows my mind. Is this a reflection of my parenting, which by the way just might need some re-vamping? I get so many comments that she is such a wonderful and obedient little girl and I just laugh...why is it that she is horrible for me then? She loves to say "You don't tell me that MOM!" - Whatever that means. Plus the little snot face she makes drives me crazy! I love the moments everyday where she is my sweet little Paige and I try to tell her as much as I can that I love it when she obeys, etc. Hoping that being positive would work. I have tried to eliminate the word "No" but saw no change whatsoever. I know this is my time for the terrible two (meaning 2 YEARS!) but I am at my wits end some days with the way she talks to me and diliberately disobeys. Any tips for a naughty toddler? Don't get me wrong, this is not all the time, but daily. I just want my happy and obedient little girl back!
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7 comments:
I wish I had some for you, but I am not there yet. I will be contacting you in a year and a half for advice with how to handle L, I just know it! Good luck and I am pretty sure it is just a phase, hope she grows out of it quickly.
Terrible two's and treachorously horrendous three's :) 3 was WAY hard then 2 for me. Kenzi says the same kind of stuff Paige does. "No, YOU don't tell me what to do!" Every child is different, but here is what I do when Kenzi acts that way. First of all, I correct her and tell her that she does not talk like that to me. If she keeps it up, she gets a LONG time out (mostly so I won't hit her) :) I have noticed with her that if I give a lot of positive reinforcement (which is super hard for me to do. Sad I know) and good quality Kenzi and mommy time, her behavior is MUCH better. I have also been trying to avoid speaking badly of her when she is around. I try not to talk about all the naughty things she does because she can hear me and I think it hurts her feelings and makes her feel like she really is naughty. I also started a marble jar that reinforces good behavior. That was also a winner. So, there is my two cents. good luck and hang in there! Kenzi is nearing age 4 and is getting much easier in the sassy sense :)
YOu be sweet ab out PAIGE.... She is PERFECT
That's tough. As my kids get older I realize I really don't know what I'm doing!! For me I think it's important for them to know they can't get away with talking to you that way. As far as what discipline you use that tougher...One thing I've noticed is if you don't want them to talk mean, you better not let them hear you talk mean to anyone--even them. I'm not a fan of spanking, but talking through it or time outs or taking away something like dessert or a tv show. Good luck! I wish I could say it gets easier...
My best advice (love and logic of course) is don't react at all to the snottiness. Stay calm and say "oh, how sad that you are talking rude to mom. feel free to come out of your room when you are ready to talk nice." Send her to her room. Go somewhere else so you don't have to hear the tantrum. Let her come out when she says she's ready. This works like a charm for us. I would just try really hard to not lecture her about it, just don't let her see it really affects you. If you try this and have no success. Let me know, I have lots more ideas. (I have taught alot of Love and Logic classes and have lots of suggestions that parents have tried and would be happy to share. This age is so so hard!!)
I can't believe I totally forgot this when I was talking to you on the phone, but this stage is when I started to do "mom & morgan time". everyday, sometime when kels was sleeping or happily in the swimg, morgie and I would do something just the two of us w/ zero interuptions (phone calls, computer, texting, tv, etc). We did puzzles, crafts, played games, read stories, wrote our own stories, scrapbooked, rolled a ball around - whatever. it helped so much it was amazing....I think she just wanted to know she still mattered to me. Between this and the tickets her behavior improved tremendously!
I def agree with the mommy and girl time. Avery and I have our spats but when we do that it helps out a lot. Another thing I did (can't remember if I blogged about it or not) is a "whine jar". Maybe you can do a "rude jar" but when they whine or be rude you say "go put your whine/rude in the jar" and it actually makes them end up laughing. I also do things like- if we plan on going somewhere that day and she is rude, we don't go anymore and she stays in her room for quite a while. Good luck. Hopefully your next post will be about a changed 2 year old. :)
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